Posted by nightphoenix on Aug 15, 2010 in
Output I was thinking about this yesterday, but I thought I’d wait and give myself a little time to process. Yesterday I attended a funeral for a friend of mine who lost a child. I can’t really describe what that was like, only that it’s something that nobody should ever have to go through. Two things in particular struck me.
One, our culture really doesn’t allow people to grieve in public. Nobody wants to watch people get emotional; it makes everyone else uncomfortable. But I was struck, yesterday, by how much unnecessary pressure this puts on people. It’s a whole lot harder to hold back grief than it is to let it out, and I would imagine it’s not healthy to hold back. Yet this is what our society demands of us. Makes me appreciate certain Middle Eastern cultures, where weeping and wailing in public is accepted and in fact, expected. I mean, when they grieve, they go all out. They cry out, and beat the ground, and tear their clothes, and cut their hair. It seems over the top until you’ve actually experienced grief like that…then you understand how freeing such actions are.
Two, I can never know for certain what it’s like to experience something without actually experiencing it for myself. I know that I as a writer…and maybe a lot of fiction writers do this…will find myself thinking that I’m more in tune with how people think and how people really feel than they are themselves. It’s an arrogant state of mind, and yesterday I was confronted by what utter bullshit it is. I can’t fully imagine that kind of grief because I haven’t been through the circumstances. It was potent enough being on the fringes of it…actually experiencing it? I can’t imagine. It’s a humbling thing for me as a writer to have to admit.
My job is to put myself in my characters’ shoes, but sometimes I do need to step back and admit that sometimes I don’t know what a particular feeling or thought or event is really like. I certainly don’t have the right to assume that because I habitually put myself in other people’s shoes, that I possess a surer grasp of an emotion than someone who’s actually gone through it. I’m good at guessing and mimicking how people think, and of course I know how I think. But I was struck yesterday by how much of what I know about people is simply outside observation, and not internal knowledge.
The only person I can ever truly know is myself.
Tags: the real world
Posted by nightphoenix on Jul 27, 2010 in
News Did some tweaking to the Writing Projects page last night. Updated the Shades, Dragon Singer, and Waters blurbs to reflect more up-to-date ideas on where they are going. Added a spot for Sielu’syoja: The Soul Eaters…need to come up with a theme song. I also intend to add a spot for Raethe and Eolissa’s story (which needs a working title and a song).
However, in the midst of updating, I discovered the my song links weren’t working. I must have updated something which broke the wpaudio plugin I’ve been using. I tried to get it working last night, but alas, no luck. I’m just not code-savvy enough to really know what I’m doing, and unfortunately the site for the plugin is only so helpful if you don’t know what’s wrong. So, just letting everyone know that for the time being, music on the blog doesn’t work. If I have to, I’ll switch to a different plugin.
Meanwhile, keep watching the Projects page. I’ve also added a few more links to the right side, and am about to organize them a little better.
*Update* Music works! Yay for support forums.
Tags: the real world
Posted by nightphoenix on Jul 26, 2010 in
News Hey, let’s see how this works.
Now, if you like a post I make, you can give it a high five at the bottom.
P.S. And if you have a user on the blog and are signed in, it should list your username. Otherwise, it will list you as anonymous.
Tags: the real world
Posted by Mistress of Feathers on Jul 25, 2010 in
News So I finally found a resource with a massive list of known forum spammers, and went through my user list checking every email address. Wouldn’t you know it, most of them were on that list.
I’ve now gone through and deleted probably 3/4 of my user list. I left the ones whose emails didn’t come up on the spammer list, which I am assuming/hoping belong to actual people. (People that I don’t know in RL, that is. There were exactly five of you. Yay!) Again, if you’re human and somehow ended up being deleted, please email me and I can set you back up.
And please feel free to comment on the blog, if you like something/ don’t like something I say! I like feedback.
Tags: the real world
Posted by nightphoenix on Jul 13, 2010 in
Output Well, as it happens, I’ve gotten myself roped into helping out with our church’s vacation bible school this week. I’m in charge of upper elementary crafts, ha. The theme is High Seas Adventure, which is kind of fun for me because I’ve actually been sailing on a schooner. However, it is a bit awkward for me because I’m not a Christian, and this is a very Christian sort of event. It’s not that I don’t like or don’t agree with what’s being taught, because for the most part I do. It’s more like I feel like I’m not the person that ought to be teaching it, you know? Luckily, the other gal I’m working with is doing the talking part, and she’s very, very good…so it’s not so bad.
Today’s motto was God’s Word is True. Now, when I read a phrase like that, my hackles automatically go up because it’s so easy for people to misunderstand. Not all truth is factual truth, and a story doesn’t have to be historically, factually real in order to be “true”. However, these are kids we’re talking about. How do you explain the concept of genres in the Bible to a fourth grader? Simple answer: you really can’t. Wait until they get into junior high, and then maybe you can start explaining how the various parts of Scripture are true.
Read more…
Tags: rants, the real world
Posted by nightphoenix on Jun 26, 2010 in
Process Last weekend, the hubby and I took Eli to see Toy Story 3 with my mom…and later that night, we saw The Karate Kid (minus Eli and my mom!).
Toy Story 3 was good, but surprisingly…well, dark. I mean, some of stuff those toys were doing, some of the scenes, whew. Just the fact that these are children’s toys makes it all the more disturbing when they imprison and hurt each other, you know? It reminded me of one of the interesting aspects of faery lore: the grotesque is hidden within the enchanting and innocent. Everything seems fine and beautiful, but there’s something…off…that you just can’t put your finger on. Until it’s too late.
But they wrapped up the Toy Story saga quite well. Yes, I cried.
The Karate Kid was a different beast altogether.
Read more…
Tags: business of writing, movies and television, reviews, the real world
Posted by nightphoenix on May 9, 2010 in
News,
Output So I went to see Holly Black and Cassandra Claire at a little book signing in Vero Beach last Friday. (Good thing I do check LJ every so often, or I might not have known about it). Vero’s only about an hour drive from where we live, so it was really great that they came that close.
Both of them read selections from their new books (Cassandra’s isn’t out yet, Black’s is), and then they did a Q&A. Some of the questions were more interesting than others…heh heh. Kind of makes me think about how they must have to answer the same questions over and over again, and that if my books gain enough of a following that I get to do a tour, how I’d have to do the same thing. Although, having people that interested in what I write would be awesome, in the long run.
I took my stele along, of course, being the ridiculous fan girl that I am. While I was there, I decided to give it to Cassandra Claire, since hey, she invented them, right? She said no one had ever given her one before, so that was kind of neat. I gave her a business card, too.
Let’s see, what else. I ran into a gal I had met at the writer’s conference, and we got to catch up. She’s a fellow fan of Susan Hubbard, and we seem to like the same sorts of books and movies. I had a lot of fun with her at the conference, so it was good to see her again.
But I think the crowning moment of the night was the earth-shattering burp that emanated from the balcony about halfway through the Q&A. Seriously, even the two authors paused long enough to acknowledge it.
Yeah, that was Eli.
Now, I don’t know what’s worse: the fact that my four-year-old son managed to belch loud enough for the entire building to hear…or the fact that I recognized his burp. I remember turning to M and saying “That sounded an awful lot like my son…”
Yeah…the hubby confirmed it later.
Tags: authors, books, the real world
Posted by nightphoenix on Apr 11, 2010 in
Input,
Novels,
Output,
Process I have been feeling inordinately uninspired lately. Working on Shades feels like slogging through mud. In fact, anything that requires me to be creative feels like slogging through mud. Next week will be a little busy, as I’ll be preparing for next weekend.
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Tags: process, Shades, the real world, worldbuilding
Posted by Mistress of Feathers on Mar 15, 2010 in
Input,
News,
Output Eli has been out of school with a cold since last Friday (which is only actually two days: Friday and today), which means that my ability to get anything done is hampered by various mommy duties. The cold is getting better, finally…it was one of those that gets into the eyes and makes them produce copious amounts of green gunk. I did a lot of nighttime eye un-gluing this weekend. I think he’ll be able to go back to school Wednesday.
Then of course, there’s the “I’m still recovering from the hard drive crash” excuse, but at this point, I think I’ve exhausted that one. I did a once-over of the first book of Shades, and did a little writing today.
Mostly, I’ve not updated because I really haven’t felt like it. Not from a lack of exciting or interesting things to report…in fact, I think it might be due to too many things to talk about. I’ve read several books since Wednesday, all of which were good enough to merit a blog-nod, at least. But…meh. I don’t feel so much like reviewing anything right now.
I’ve actually felt like sitting down and writing some erotic Shades fanfiction. (I suppose I can hope Shades will be enough of a hit someday to merit fanfiction…and it can be fun to anticipate what people are going to come up with. Dear gods, the slash will probably be awful).
One, to see if I can actually bring myself to write an erotic scene…what words I can/cannot get on the page, where evocative turns into gross/cheesy/unrealistic/just plain bad, etc. Shades does not need such scenes, and won’t contain any, but I can think of a couple of places in my Tindaari epic that might. (Celeste is a whore, by profession. Nuatha’s relationship with her is intimately *cough* tied to both his own sexual awakening and to his character arc. Some of that growth is going to take place in the bedroom…and I’m just going to have to get over it.)
Two, Saeli and Raphel’s relationship is grating on me right now. Not on a writerly level…I’ve just reread the whole manuscript so far, and I think I’ve got the level of sexual/antagonistic/partnership tension about where it needs to be. But I think it’s safe to say that I’m more emotionally attached to these characters than anyone else could possibly be. I want them to get together because I like Raphel and I’m a lot like Saeli, in some ways. Pure wish fulfillment. Something I know I can’t do in the story itself without destroying it, but something I *want*, nonetheless. (Hey, that’s what fanfiction is for, IMO. Pairing off characters just because the fans want it, not because it’s in any way hinted at in the canon.) This is actually a sign to me that I’ve Saeli’s and Raphel’s relationship right in the story, because part of the tension lies in the fact that they are, in some ways, perfect for each other…and yet, it just can’t work. I want the reader to hate that. I know this probably sounds ridiculous, but I want the reader to fall in love with Raphel and despair. It’s the major underlying problem Saeli has to overcome.
So, but okay, writer-me is satisfied, but fan-me is still grinding her teeth.
I may do it, just because. Maybe in between the actual finishing of the last chapters, in that time when I’d normally be checking Facebook or something. This is not something I’d be posting here, by the way. I know too many people that read this that I probably wouldn’t be able to face again, if I did. ;D No erotica on Nightphoenix’s blog, sorry.
I’ve decided I need to go back and read The Society of S by Susan Hubbard. I think, out of all the YA books I’ve read recently, that story’s pacing most closely resembles mine; a bit less action, bam-bam-wham, a bit more literary. (This is only compared to today’s popular YA, which tends to read very, very fast.) Since I enjoyed Society of S, despite its slower pace (or maybe because of it), I should go back and pay attention to how that was done.
Not much else to report. The spring forward thing is killing me. We didn’t eat supper tonight until like 8:30, ’cause I just couldn’t get my act together. Now it’s nearly midnight, and we have to go to bed soon. *sigh*
Tags: Raphel, Saeli, Shades, the real world
Posted by nightphoenix on Mar 5, 2010 in
Books,
Input,
Output I have a computer again. I’m back to using the much smaller hard drive that came with the computer, and it’s pretty much stuffed to the brim. The hubby has ordered a case that will let him try to boot the messed-up hard drive outside of the laptop…that’s pretty much going to be our last ditch effort to rescue what’s on it. Getting a new head put on the drive would only be worth the money if it contained information vital to the survival of the Rebel Alliance…or something.
Read more…
Tags: authors, books, the real world
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