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Revisit, re-assess
I just looked at the date of the last post I made here, and I’m fairly embarrassed. I’d love to say I’ve been wonderfully busy and productive and just haven’t had the time to update… Read more…
Like!Sorry for the down time
Posted by Mistress of Feathers on Sep 12, 2011 in News
So I went to update the blog to the latest WordPress, because you know, it’s good to have things up to date. Well, and so…one of my many plugins had a fatal error and broke the blog. As my husband’s computer is where all the actual content is stored, and he’s always very busy…tonight was the first opportunity we had to fix things.
And it was so very, very easy to fix. Gah.
Anyway, that’s why things have been down for the last…week? Two weeks? Time tends to get away from me…
Back with your irregularly scheduled posts soon!
Edited to add: You may notice that some features, like my embedded music, are not working properly. Updating always breaks a few plugins (just usually not so thoroughly). I apologize. It will take me some time to get everything all updated and running again.
Goals
Recently I’ve been trying to come up with a way to organize which projects I work on, and how much time I spend working. The problem with me, I’ve found, is that when I try to concentrate solely on one project at a time, I inevitably work myself into a bind that I can’t get out of. Not wanting to “break my focus”, however, I don’t allow myself to work on anything else…and thus, nothing gets worked on. Plainly this is, ah, not a good system for me. The other problem I have is allowing myself to get completely derailed, spending a month or two enthusiastically pouring energy into Amphitere’s Vision or one of my minor story ideas when I really, really wanted to be working on Shades. Also, there are days when I get bitten by the art bug, and need to work on something visual. So…what seems to work best for me is having a variety of projects to work on at a time, but only certain ones.
I’ve come up with the idea of organizing every project, including the artistic ones unconnected with my writing and my wands, into what I’ll call “cycles”. Every cycle includes at least one series novel (like Shades or Briar Rose), one stand-alone novel, various shorter writing projects, bits of Amphitere’s Vision, and art projects. It gives me options, but confines those options enough so that I actually make progress on things.
What’s also helped is finally sitting down and deciding exactly what still needs to be done for Amphiptere’s Vision, which was kind of a huge, sprawling mess. The project folder is a jumbled mess of Excel spreadsheets, Notepad notes, and drawings of characters, dragons, and maps in various stages of completion. I asked myself: “If I was going to hand a folder to, oh say a game producer, what all would I need to include so that they would understand the vision of the game? What might they want to see?” and made a list. So now I have, like, actual goals to work towards.
Each “cycle” is supposed to take 1-2 years to complete, though I think that will vary. The way I broke things down, I already have 12 cycles planned. *cough* Yeah, I have a lot of projects. Although the last two or three are just Tindaari (I know I’ll be filling those up). I ran some numbers, and calculated that if I wrote 400 words a day, I could write a 96,000 word novel in a year’s time. Double that to 800 words a day, and I could write two novels in a year’s time. That’s not bad. 400 words doesn’t sound like a whole lot, but I’ve been surprised how often it’s difficult to manage even that much in a day. (Ever try writing with Inspector Gadget, Rugrats, or Pixar playing in the background? Meh.) That will get better after school starts, I think, and I have some hours to myself.
One of my biggest problems in productivity is guilt. Much of the time I feel like I’m not making enough progress. Of if I am making progress, I feel like it’s coming at the expense of doing the laundry, or making sure my son isn’t just sitting around all day watching TV. I know guilt motivates some people, but it paralyzes me. I get even more disinclined to work, and thus feel more guilt, and so on. The 400 words a day is really helping with that, because it’s such an easy goal to meet and yet I know it will still get me somewhere. And when I write more I can pat myself on the back even more. 
So that’s where I am, and why I haven’t been updating much.
Prom
No, I did not go to anyone’s prom. It’s been a long time since I was in high school, you know.
However, last week I did take myself to the movie Prom, on the justification that it was a teenager movie and I write stories for teenagers. I ought to keep myself familiar with how they dress and talk and act around each other if my books are going to contain any amount of realism. And…sometimes I like a simple young toothy love story. And the guy who plays Jesse is kinda cute *cough*…
Anyway, it was pretty much what I expected. Nothing deep or riveting or complicated. But it did affirm why the young adult genre appeals to me as a whole, and also reminded me that it’s been a while since I was a teenager.
I like the immediacy. People tend to mock teenaged angst, how everything that’s happening is so dreadfully important and a big deal all the time. How ups are like mountaintops and downs are like the end of the world. It’s true that young people lack a certain amount of perspective that comes with age and living life. But you know…sometimes I think adults could use more of that immediacy and significance. Young people care, immensely and deeply, and that kind of passion can do amazing things in the world, if channeled. We, as adults, need to remember how it feels to care, and to love, and to ache…to not let those things slip away with the years.
I like the sort of on-the-cusp, anything-is-possible vibe that seems to permeate stories that involve teenagers. It’s both exciting and scary to be making momentous decisions that will affect the rest of one’s life, and it makes those characters stand out in a way that wise, mature, rational adult characters sometimes don’t.
But watching that movie, I noticed something. Many of the problems between characters could have been easily and quickly solved, if the characters would only talk about what was bothering them. It amazed me how many times I was sitting there in the theater thinking, “Just say it! Why can’t you just speak up??” I found myself sometimes getting frustrated with how easily they would sometimes just give up and go along with the crowd, or follow orders, or do nothing.
But see, I’m an adult. Been there, done that, you know? I’ve learned from experience that getting things out in the open is usually worth any possible repercussions. I’ve learned to express myself, and I’ve learned that voicing my needs and feelings is far better in the long run than hiding them. I’ve had a few years to hone what I’d say, and how I’d say it, and I’m no longer so insecure about what people will think of me if I speak up. It takes some deliberate effort on my part to put myself in a teenaged mindset. Thinking like that not an automatic thing for me.
In other words, I don’t remember what it’s like to be a teenager quite as well as I think I do. And I’d do well to keep that in mind.
In other news, I’ve started another blog. I was very adamant that this blog was going to be for writing, and only for writing, and that I wasn’t going to get into religion or politics here unless it directly related to my writing. But more and more I’ve found myself needing a place to vent on certain issues…because otherwise they just bother me and bother me and I don’t get anything done for like a week. If you really want to know where I stand on such topics, you can head over here and poke around. There’s not much there yet, but it’ll probably get added to pretty fast. I will warn you, sometimes I may not be very nice and I’ll probably be doing a lot of picking on fundamentalist Christianity in particular. Not because I have a problem with the Christian faith…actually, I like it very much, which is why I’d like to see its blind spots and idiocies and dark sides exposed and dealt with. But, if that sort of thing makes you uncomfortable, then you should probably leave exilemusings alone. 
Updates
Yes, it has been too long. April was a month full of surprises and changes.
My car died. Like, permanently. Poor old Pontiac. The only thing worse than driving an overheating car across Melbourne was then having nightmares about driving said overheating car across Melbourne that night. Which, I now know, was not a wise thing to do…but alas. Thankfully, I have the most wonderful dad in the world, who funded the Hyundai Sonata I’m driving now. 
We now have a cat. The hubby heard him crying outside one night after those two huge April storms we had. I, of course, had headphones on and didn’t have a clue. So we’re sitting there working on our computers, when the hubby suddenly gets up and walks out the front door with no explanation. He then calls my phone and asks if we have anything we could feed to a cat. I cut up some hot dogs and take them outside, where I find him with a very skittish orange kitty in the downstairs breezeway. We debated what to do with the cat, as it was raining and we didn’t want to just leave him outside. As it was around 11 in the evening, our options were limited. We ended up bringing the cat up to the apartment for the night and made plans to call animal control in the morning.
We got some basic supplies and discovered that the kitty was housebroken (litter trained and everything). Also, this cat really, really liked my husband. I mean, he couldn’t even leave the room without the cat trying to follow and put its paws up on his ankles. I stayed home with the cat the next day until animal control came, and that part was absolutely horrible. My son was home on spring break, which made it even worse (how do you explain to a five-year-old why someone is taking kitty to the pound, when every single child’s movie that features a pound portrays it as a BAD PLACE??)
Well, we debated, and debated, and finally decided that we couldn’t bear the thought of this cat getting possibly euthanized if no one claimed him. After a week, we went back to the animal shelter and officially adopted him. His name is now Kansuke, and he is settling in very nicely (after he got rid of the cold he caught at the shelter).
I have been writing, despite all this; working on Promises, Like Tears and This Chosen Fate kind of in tandem. When I hit a block in one story, I switch to the other. By the time I hit a hard place in the other, I’m ready to continue the first one. I’ve also spent quite a bit of time on Amphiptere’s Vision, tweaking the skillsets. “Sandboxing” them, I call it; where instead of coming up with a straightforward list of abilities, I create a set of “tools”, skills that can be combined to create the individual abilities. It gives the player the opportunity to create their own “style” of fighting, hunting, building, etc. It also forces the player to think about what the various tools do, and to anticipate what might happen if one tool is combined with another. I want the player to “know” his skillsets nearly as well as the character does, and to be creative in how he employs them. Breaks the bash-bash-bash-loot monotony of grinding that most MMO’s seem to have.
I’ve heard back on a few submissions, mostly the standard not-right-for-us-at-this-time letters. The few more personal notes I’ve gotten have been encouraging, however (as is the fact that I’ve even gotten personal notes at this stage in the game). I’ve sent out a few more and hope to hear back in the next few weeks. The agent hunt continues.
That’s about it on the real life front. More to come later.
Inexcusable
Posted by nightphoenix on Mar 10, 2011 in News
I just realized I haven’t updated this blog in about a month. That’s both irresponsible and inexcusable of me.
I’ve been productive, which I suppose is part of the updating problem. Have plotted out the Waters story, and decided to give it an actual title: This Chosen Fate. Have also written nearly a full chapter of Promises, Like Tears. I’m getting a much better handle on Naeth’s character this time around. He’s actually supposed to be sort of annoying and not really all that likable when you first meet him, which will make his later improvements stand out all the more. I’ve been debating theology with friends, which easily turns into a time-sucker with me.
Also, one of the blogs I follow regularly, Slacktivist, moved to a new internet home last week, which sparked a…ruckus. Very quick sum-up: Within the community of commenters and lurkers that follow Slacktivist, many people had objections to the content of the new home site, Patheos, and felt that they could not in good conscience support such a site. The community seemed ready to split over the move. This is the type of situation that moves at internet speed and can only be kept up with if one is willing to follow 1000+ comments or so across the space of about 5 separate threads on two different websites. However, the community seems to have settled on a compromise: Fred will stay at Patheos to be a sort of light in the darkness, per se, but he’s handed the old space over to a few of the regulars from the community as a safe space for those who don’t want to or cannot bear to deal with the vile stuff on Patheos. Which, I have to say, is pretty awesome of him. But…following all the drama has taken up a lot of time this week.
Have also been cleaning the apartment, which is of course a never-ending job.
However, the truth is…I’m not sure where to take this blog. I definitely want it to remain about the writing, but really what it’s become is a sort of “update on me and my writing” space. Which is great (if a bit narcissistic) for me…but how interesting is that for other people? I’d like to give this place more of a direction, so people can come here and know more or less the sort of topics to expect.
I have two sort of hazy ideas. One, have the main theme be “the creative process”. The process of getting ideas. Turning those ideas into stories (or art, or…well, those are my two areas). Brainstorming. Worldbuilding. I could get even more specific, like: The Creative Process for Fantasy Writers. Or something. This could also incorporate the “real life meets writing” and “how such-and-such impacted me as a writer” posts that I do every so often.
The other idea would be to focus on the more nuts and bolts aspects of writing, like GMC and problematic plots and such. And how certain books and movies either succeed or fail based on these things. That’s kind of what Writing Excuses is, which makes it really interesting to me…but it’d essentially make this into a how-to blog. Dunno if I like that.
Anyway, I’ll be giving this more thought over the next few days. Just wanted to check in and say, no, I haven’t fallen off the face of the planet.
Groundhog Day
Posted by nightphoenix on Feb 2, 2011 in Input
My son turns 5 today. Long overdue, if you ask me. It’s interesting, watching one’s own child’s succession of birthdays. I’ve noticed that he starts acting the age he’s turning several months before February, and mentally I start thinking of him as being that age. Makes the actual day feel a little anti-climactic, at least for me. (Probably not to him. At least I hope not.)
I’ve been making an Excel list of agents to query. Today I will be sending out a query to the agent I met at the writer’s conference, and then picking out 10 or so others to send a first round of emails out to. Man, talk about a complicated process. Every agent wants something different. Some want just a letter. Some want a letter and a writing sample. Some want all that and a synopsis of the story.
Of the ones who want a sample, some want a chapter. Some want 3 chapters. Some want 5 pages. Some want 10 pages. At least one wants 50 pages (!). That means, for each one of these, I have to find a break somewhere in that neighborhood. Some want said pages attached. Most want the sample in the email body and will delete anything with attachments.
Of the ones who want a synopsis, most want a page or two. Some want 5 pages. One wants 3-5 paragraphs. *eyeroll* How many bloody synposises (synposi?) do I have to write?
Some want you to query just one agent at the agency. Some say that a query to one is a query to all. Some will let you submit to another agent at the agency if the first rejects you. Some stipulate that a rejection from one is a rejection from all. Most want an email. Some have a weird online form you have to use instead. Some respond to everyone. Most warn that prolonged silence is a no. Response time is anywhere between 1 week and 6 months.
Are you beginning to see the need for a spreadsheet to keep all this straight?? Now I figure if I can navigate all this excitement, I’ll be a step ahead of most people who go through this process.
I’m finally reading Towers of Midnight. I have to say, sometimes the library has good timing. I knew I had requested the book sometime back, and I was terrified it was going to come in during those couple of weeks before the conference. You know, when I was busy copyediting and preparing and most definitely not having time to start an 843 page beast. (That’s, er, overlooking the fact that I did read Fallen by Lauren Kate, and the final Vampire Academy book Last Sacrifice during that time. Um, yeah.)
I’ve also been reading the Maximum Ride books by James Patterson. Those are fun, though the super-short chapters get annoying pretty fast. I mean, when every single chapter is a page or two long? It starts to feel like this breathless, chronological montage of…stuff happening. Or like watching a fan blade turn round and round. It becomes a gimmick for making the book seem fast paced, but here’s the thing. These books don’t need it. They’re face-paced enough. Choppy chapter breaks are unnecessary, especially when they don’t really…divide…anything.
And here it comes, the deep thought for the day. Read more…
Kayfabe
Well, I finished the line edit a week or so ago, and have been (mostly) diligently working on copyediting. And realizing that there’s often a wide gulf between what I think I wrote and what the sentence actually says. And that I tend to read what I think I wrote. Blarg.
I’m also working on a synopsis, which is more blarg…but not as bad as it could be, since I had the foresight to sum up all the important events of Hands on index cards in preparation for editing. I think I’ll have everything ready for the conference.
Speaking of: Hey, the Space Coast Writers Guild conference is coming up! Jan. 28th and 29th (which is a Friday and a Saturday). It’s a great conference, and not too pricey, as far as writing conferences go. Click here for details and a registration form. You can also walk in and register the day of.
I did the conference booklet again this year (yeah…last weekend’s mad project), and I hope it looks as good printed as it does on a computer screen. The registration booklet I did was a little graphics-busy, IMO.
So…one might ask why I’m blogging when I probably should be copyediting or synopsising or somesuch. Well, I’m feeling a bit burnt out and I figured writing something is at least more productive than reading pages upon pages of Slacktivist comments. Not that those aren’t interesting, and un-productive…anyway. Read more…
No, I haven’t forgotten
Been a while since I’ve updated, and I apologize. But, but, but…believe it or not, that’s actually because I’ve been spending nearly every spare moment writing. I’ve been in a groove and have been reluctant to do anything to distract from that. (Which is why the apartment is a disaster.) Remember how I keep hoping I’ll hit a point in Shades where I can start doing more copying and pasting from the second draft instead of rewriting from scratch? Hey, well, I got there. I’ve actually reached the chapter I lost back in…March, was it? Currently I’m rewriting that, which has slowed me down a bit. But this means I am only two or three chapters away from the end.
I hope to be done writing and on to editing by the end of the month. Let us hope.
I have actually started a few blog entries over the last few weeks, and just never got them done. I may, in the next few days, finish and post those.
I may also blog about the Hanson concerts I just went to, because hey it’s Hanson and they’re awesome, but also because I always seem to have the most interesting thoughts coming off of a concert high.
So, I suppose this is an update post to say I’m going to be updating soon.
Writing vs. Art
Posted by nightphoenix on Sep 1, 2010 in Process
I’ve observed something about myself. I do my best writing when I write for myself, but I do my best art when it’s for other people.
Not that I don’t want other people to read my writing…I do. Eventually. And it’s not that I don’t have readers in mind while I write. I’m always thinking, “Okay, is this going to interest anyone other than me?” and “This is going to bore people” and things like that. But ultimately I write these stories because I want to see them on paper. I suppose I’m writing the sort of book I’d like to read. Even if everyone else thinks the book stinks, I’ll still want to read it. Bit narcissistic, I guess. My point is, I’m not really doing this FOR anyone else. I want people to be interested, but I’m not going to write stories just to please them.
Now art, on the other hand, is a whole different thing with me. And when I say “my art”, let me clarify that I’m talking about the art I do that doesn’t have anything to do with what I’m writing. If I’m drawing book stuff, I’m still technically in writer mode. Other than story-related pieces, I really don’t make art for myself. I’m not one to make stuff that I’d hang on the wall…unless I was creating the piece specifically TO hang on the wall. I think my wands even fall into this category. I like making them, but I’m not so much making them for me as I am making them for Someone Else.
And when I do make art for a specific purpose, or for a specific person, I work much faster. What would probably take me a week doing it for myself, I can create in a day for someone else. The whole process just becomes easier. I don’t know why that is…I’ve only recently observed THAT it is, for me. I don’t do art for its own sake. I don’t just draw because I “feel” like it. I have to have a purpose in mind.
And on the other hand, when I try to write something for someone else? The process bogs down. I hate writing essays, for instance, and how-to’s. Even if it’s a subject that interests me, it’s just never as satisfying as working on my novel. Have anyone else noticed that book and movie reviews on this blog are few and far between? I don’t enjoy writing them. Because it’s the sort of writing one does more for other people than for yourself (after all, you’ve read the book or seen the movie…you don’t have to tell yourself what you thought about it). It’s difficult, and the result is not satisfying. I have to write for its own sake; trying to squeeze an objective in there is hard.
So I have two creative outlets which I enjoy and am fairly skilled at: writing and visual art. My writing belongs to me. My art belongs to the world, I guess. I wonder if I was always like this, or if choosing to pursue writing over art caused my brain to wire itself this way. If I’d chosen to concentrate on art instead, would it be the other way around?
Has anyone else with multiple creative interests noticed something like this about themselves?
Me, Briefly
Mariah Dennison, fantasy writer and artist. I have finished the first book in a trilogy, and am currently working on the second.
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