Posted by nightphoenix on Nov 22, 2010 in
Novels,
Output Well, the editing has begun. The bird edit is going to take two passes, I realize. The first will involve going back and putting in the birds, lizards, ambiance, etc, and also marking passages that I think could be deleted or need to be changed. Some, I’m just going ahead and fixing. I’m already about 3/4 of the way through that first pass, as I’m mostly adding, and not reading every word.
The second pass will be in more detail. I’m actually going to go through and look at my verb and adjective choices, and see where those can be tweaked to suggest a culture where birds are so common that people actually think in terms of them. I’ll also be checking the consistency of all the idioms and phrases unique to that world, and making sure I haven’t used any cliches from this world. I’ll also fix and/or delete my highlighted spots, and do another word count to see where I’m at.
Then I’ll start the line edit as a new save.
This is not taking me as long as I feared. Of course this is a third draft, and I have this tendency to edit as I go, so a lot of what I’ve written is pretty polished already. I’m setting my completion goal for the end of December. I don’t know that it will take me that long, but with the holidays and everything I have to do for that, it very well might. Then I can take January and work on deciding who to submit to, and the dreaded query letter.
My blogging may be sparse for a while.
Tags: editing and revisions, goals, Shades
Posted by nightphoenix on Nov 17, 2010 in
News,
Novels,
Output Today, November 17, 2010, at precisely 1:46PM, I wrote four spectacularly satisfying words:
“Here ends Book 1.”
The draft is done! I made it to the end before December. Final word count: 124,178. Okay, that’s about 20,000 words over my limit, but hey, it could’ve been worse. Woo hoo! Being me, the first thing I did was crank up some Hanson in the car. Georgia, Penny & Me, and Rock ‘n Roll Razorblade, in that order. Out of all the music I have, that’s what I needed just then.
Anyone feel like celebrating with me before I start the editing process?
I’m debating whether to print out a hard copy to edit. On one hand, it’d be easier for me to flip back and forth, decide where to add stuff, etc. However…that’s a lot of paper. I’d almost certainly have to take it somewhere to get it printed. Meh, we’ll see. Right now I’m just kind of giddy that it’s actually done.
Tags: Shades
Posted by nightphoenix on Oct 16, 2010 in
Novels,
Output Both to Shades, and both of which I thought of while trying to sleep last night. You’ll notice this blog is a place where I take notes that probably aren’t very interesting to anyone but myself. I think better when I’m thinking at somebody else, even if it’s for a sometimes imaginary cyber audience.
One, I realized something about the first three paragraphs of Hands, Like Secrets. I was trying to decide, yet again, whether they were enough of a hook to get people into the story. I’ve never been sure about them, and I finally figured out why. They do not introduce the story at hand, but rather they kick off the entire trilogy. Thus, I am moving them into a prologue by themselves, and starting the actual first chapter with Saeli’s walk to the HP’s office.
Two, I was thinking about the scene where Saeli visits Raphel’s room after learning he’s going to sack her school. It was one of those discovery scenes where a character does something completely unexpected and unplanned. It’s a good partial scene, but I realized that it’s paired wrong. Her emotional state would be a better fit for after the attack on the school, after he’s made her an enemy of her own people, after she realizes how badly he manipulated her. I always said she went to his room knowing that he was either going to kill her or seduce her, and she’s at a point where she doesn’t care. Finding him sleeping dismantles that emotion, and now I find I’m not happy with that. It’s is THE darkest moment of the story, and thus it needs to happen right before Raphel convinces her, for the last time, that he needs her.
That will take some rearranging. If I move Saeli walking into Raphel’s room, she has to find him sleeping or gone some other way. He has to be out of it or elsewhere before Saeli can escape, because she won’t risk it otherwise. I decided that perhaps Mora could actually be the instigator here; she could be the one to take Saeli to where Raphel is sleeping. “You should see this, Gray Robe.” Main reason: because Raphel commanded her to nudge Saeli into escaping. She’s following orders. But Raphel doesn’t specify how Mora is to accomplish this. Second reason: Mora is still trying to warn Saeli away from Raphel, both because she’s jealous, and because she knows how treacherous Raphel can be. Having Mora be the one to reveal the sleeping Raphel also makes the whole thing feel a little more contrived…which it is. Foreshadowing, and maybe dropping a hint to the readers behind Saeli’s back.
Right now I’m sitting in a writing workshop…so I should probably stop tapping on my keyboard.
Tags: editing and revisions, Shades
Posted by nightphoenix on Sep 28, 2010 in
Novels,
Output Delved a little deeper into Raphel’s heart than I really meant to. Hey, not my fault. It actually worked as something of a distraction for Saeli, preventing her from thinking too hard on the fact that he just killed someone. Again.
Yesterday I listened to a Writing Excuses podcast about first person POV, and a lightbulb kind of went on in my head. Third person limited, which is what I wrote the first two drafts in, is too honest for the story I’m trying to tell. The only way to have a strong female protagonist fall for the villain, and to have that love survive several instances of betrayal, all the while keeping the heroine from looking like a moron, is to be in her head. I need that bias. I need that distance from Raphel. I’m trying to deceive the reader into falling for Raphel, too, and he’s *just* villainous enough that nobody will buy it unless they see him directly through Saeli’s eyes.
I worry, sometimes, that I’m writing Raphel too sympathetically this time around. If the line between a dark hero and a villain is a knife’s edge, Raphel is going to be cutting his shoes through the entire trilogy. It’s like when you hold an object close to your face. If you look with just one eye, it appears one way. But when you look through the other eye, it appears to be in a completely different place.
In a way, Saeli sees Raphel with one eye shut. Sure, there’s darkness in him, but he’s still a hero in that eye. But others in the story keep urging her to look at him with the other eye and see his cruelty, his ambition, the way he manipulates people, his lack of true empathy. In the end, Saeli will learn to look at Raphel with both eyes open, and that’s really the cruel part. If she only viewed him through the eye that sees his villainous side, the decision to destroy him would be justifiable (if not easy). But she has to destroy him knowing he’s at least partially a hero inside. Add that to the fact that she loves him, and saving her world will quite possibly be the agonizing choice she’ll ever have to make.
Not something I could do without a narrator bias. Thank you, Writing Excuses.
Tags: Raphel, Saeli, Shades
Posted by nightphoenix on Sep 25, 2010 in
Novels,
Output One of the many things that The Way of Kings made me think about was the ecology of fantasy worlds. That was the one aspect of James Cameron’s Avatar that flat-out impressed me: how thought out Pandora was as a functioning ecology. Everything in that world, plants and animals alike, looked uniquely Pandoran (except, incidentally, the Na’vi, but that’s another rant…). It was all beautiful, but everything also had a purpose. The Way of Kings is also like that: everything revolves around the highstorms.
Saeli’s world lacks that. Verre is both like and unlike Earth, but I really haven’t given much thought to those differences. Dheu is a bit more detailed, but Dheu is actually even more Earthlike than Verre so it’s kind of a moot point. Caosgi has the most detail, but that’s because it’s significantly different. (Different is actually easier to worldbuild.)
Read more…
Tags: brainstorming, Shades, worldbuilding
Posted by nightphoenix on Sep 15, 2010 in
Novels,
Output,
Process …from Tennessee, that is. Went on a trip with Eli and my mom to her property up there. It was fun and relaxing, except for the part when we almost hit a deer. That was kind of scary. No internet or cell phone service up there, so I’ve been a bit out of touch these last couple of days. This is kind of a long post. Update, and (another) new idea.
Read more…
Tags: brainstorming, ideas, Shades, Windwaker, worldbuilding
Posted by nightphoenix on Sep 8, 2010 in
Novels,
Output,
Process,
Short Stories This month I’m making it a goal to revisit The Smell of November. I think that story always suffered from the word limit needed to enter it in the WD contest. So I’m lengthening it, and tweaking the storyline a bit. I’m making it more ambiguous, so that the reader never really knows if Alan Hunter is truly a wolf-faced escapee of Arcadia, or if he’s just plain crazy. Going to try and get it in shape to submit to the Realms of Fantasy magazine.
If they take it, I may turn it into a serial thing. Alan Hunter’s story makes a nice lead-in to the overall Grimms storyline, something I’ve wanted to get started on. One of the Grimms, on a rescue mission, meets Alan after he’s been recaptured. They all escape. The Alan/November romantic tragedy will be wrapped in as a subplot to the whole Grimm tale. I don’t think Alan will ever actually be a Grimm; he’ll function more as a solitary ally. He may not be the only one; the Grimms will probably acquire a network of allies as the story fleshes out. Rescued kids who make it back to their families, but still know. Faerie enthusiasts who are in on the truth. Maybe even a rogue Fae or two.
I’m still working on Shades. In the process of spreading out and raising stakes on an already tense scene. I think I’m approaching the point where I won’t have to change much more. I’m also pretty sure I’ve said that before. *sigh* On the upside, I get to burn some mansions down. What’s the point of having a cabal of Cowls in a Mantle city if they never wreak any havoc? Let’s just say it’s high time for some chaos.
Read more…
Tags: editing and revisions, goals, Grimms, ideas, Shades, Smell of November
Posted by Mistress of Feathers on Aug 10, 2010 in
Books,
News,
Novels,
Output I read The City of Ember by Jeanne DuPrau in one day, almost in a single sitting. My husband got kind of boggle-eyed when I told him that, and yeah, I guess that’s a bit quick, even for me. I mean, it usually takes me at least a whole day, maybe two, to plow through a several hundred page book. It was quite a satisfying read…I’ve seen the movie, probably a year ago now, and it was pretty faithful to the book. That sort of conciseness, common to the young adult genre in particular, is something I admire when I see it and something I need to do more. I have a tendency to write epically.
Right now I’m working on Inkheart, another book that I’ve seen the movie of. Pretty good so far.
I have a ridiculous weakness for M&Ms. In case the blog itself doesn’t give that away.
You might notice that I’ve tweaked the sidebar a little bit. That picture (and yes, that is me) is one the hubby took while we were in North Carolina. It was a nice foggy day, which made for some very neat photo opportunities. I also finally figured out how to eliminate the search thingy at the top. I never liked it there. I’ll probably put it somewhere else in the sidebar, so the blog is still easily searchable.
I’ve been thinking about the logistics of the coup Raphel is planning for the city of Aschera. Read more…
Tags: books, brainstorming, reviews, Shades, worldbuilding
Posted by nightphoenix on Jul 31, 2010 in
Novels,
Output Maybe it’s because I’m on vacation. (Um, yeah, btw, we’re in North Carolina for the week with the hubby’s parents…) Hard to get any solid writing done.
Or maybe it’s because I’m writing a Saeli/Brendan conflict scene, and that’s harder to do from Saeli’s head. I dunno. It ought to be easier, because I’ve got a solid pipeline to Saeli’s internal state of mind. But for some reason, I’m having a hard time generating the necessary emotion to make this scene work. The scene needs to happen, and it needs to happen onscreen. It escalates the tension between Saeli and Brendan, so that Brendan’s later drug experimentation and subsequent explosion at Saeli makes sense. Otherwise, Brendan is going to look like he’s overreacting, and the reader isn’t going to have a clear idea why.
However, maybe I’m trying to milk it too much. Maybe it needs to be extremely short, and maybe Brendan actually holds back a lot of what he’d like to say. I was going to have this fight undermine a lot of the confidence Saeli has just gained in Raphel…but reading that just now, I’m realizing that I can’t do that. I mean, we’ve just had a big reveal in the story. I’ve turned Saeli’s world upside down, and she needs to ride that for a while. Her thoughts need to marinate before I dump the next big thing on her.
And to some extent, I want Brendan’s blow-up at the graduation party to shock Saeli. She needs to know he’s upset, but I don’t think she or the reader needs to know just how much the boyfriend thing has been eating at him until it all comes out. Brendan’s pain is a major consequence of her joining forces with Raphel, and as such, it needs to hit her at the appropriate time.
So this little fight needs to be short and bitter, but not too intense. What needs to be revealed at this point?
-Brendan thinks Saeli has a boyfriend. Because:
-Brendan ran into Cara while looking for Saeli. Cara, concerned because Saeli hasn’t returned to campus yet, and feeling guilty about lying to Brendan in the first place, tells him the truth and sends him after her. This, perhaps, will also create a little tension between Cara and Saeli. Saeli’s going to have to keep lying to keep Raphel a secret, and this will have the effect of isolating her from her Mantle friends.
-Brendan was coming to tell Saeli that he’s earned the gold and white, and that they’ll be Anjahel together. Finding out that she tricked him in order to sneak off campus to meet a boyfriend has completely ruined this much anticipated moment for him. Thus, he is not happy.
However, the crux of his anger is not specifically that Saeli has a boyfriend. Rather, he thinks she had a boyfriend when they talked in the infirmary, and he thinks she deliberately kept it from him. He also assumes that’s why she tricked him in order to sneak off campus. Brendan is feeling like he’s being played by the girl he likes, and that really hurts. I think that’s the reveal I need to save for the graduation party. Let Saeli assume Brendan is mainly mad about the sneaking out, and then let the truth come out later, at the worst possible moment.
I think I know where this scene needs to go now. Note to self…if a scene is going slowly, maybe there’s something functionally wrong with it, and I need to step back and analyze what I’m doing.
Tags: Brendan, Cara, Saeli, Shades, writer's block
Posted by nightphoenix on Jul 23, 2010 in
Novels,
Output So I’ve reached the point (again) where Raphel has convinced Saeli to help him overthrow the gods. I had to do it a little differently (again), because her internal struggles are a little different. On the first draft of the story, Saeli was very naive, so Raphel didn’t have to try all that hard to bring her in. In the second draft, she got a lot more shrewd, so Raphel actually had to get a little more scary. This time around, I’ve backed Raphel’s mean streak off a bit, although I think he’s still much harsher than the original version of him. Interestingly, being directly in Saeli’s head has allowed me to play Raphel’s mystery up more. I’m also playing up his seductive nature, and on this draft I’m trying to hold off Saeli feeling outright betrayed by him until the very end, when he goes after Aschamon. That way all the various small betrayals will pile on top of her at once, and she’ll realize just how badly he’s played her.
Read more…
Tags: editing and revisions, Raphel, Saeli, Shades
Like!
