Posted by nightphoenix on Apr 29, 2010 in
Novels,
Output …is an experience I’m enjoying. I think part of the reason she’s such a hard nut to crack is because of how much she holds in. First person lets all that come out, while preserving her facade. Part of it is her own personality: she’s a private and introverted soul by nature, and opens up to people only slowly. But part of it stems from her effort to be good enough to wear the Mantle. White Mantle society frowns on open displays of emotion; they are quiet, reserved people (on the outside, anyway). Saeli feels things very passionately, but over the years she’s learned to dampen that fire, and only show what she thinks people want to see. Her face still gives her away if her emotions run too high, though, and she hates that about herself.
Saeli has learned to hold back her emotions to the point where she’s actually made herself a little bit numb on the inside. But once she does accept that she does feel something, it burns through her. I’m about four scenes back into the story now, and she’s spent two of those either watching Raphel or actually interacting with him. She’s definitely physically attracted to him, but interestingly enough, it hasn’t crossed her mind yet. It’s that pseudo-numbness. How she feels is irrelevant to her…how she conducts herself is everything. She’ll analyze her feelings later, in private, probably in great detail. And once she does realize what those physical reactions mean…oh, she’ll fall. Hard.
She’s also something of a pessimist, or at least a cynic, in her head. She always braces for the worst, or she looks at situations and starts thinking of how it could have been worse. She’s always examining herself, asking why she feels the way she does, criticizing herself when what she sees doesn’t line up with what she thinks should be there. She thinks through everything. A lot of that is tied up in years of thinking she’s not good enough…she won’t shake that easily. Raphel is going to nail her with that, especially once she starts dealing with her fears of not being good enough for him.
Saeli also thinks she’s a terrible liar, when in reality she’s a fairly good one. It’s just that she hates lying, and is thus sure it’s written all over her…but she’s so used to holding back that keeping secrets is not that much of a step for her. Brendan is the truly terrible liar. Cara’s average. Raphel makes an art of it.
She’s got some snark in her, sometimes, but it’s not a big part of her personality.
Anywho, that’s where I am with her so far.
Tags: editing and revisions, Saeli, Shades
Posted by nightphoenix on Apr 23, 2010 in
Novels,
Output I’m thinking of swapping the point of view in Shades from third person to first person. I figure, hey, since I’m planning on dismantling the beginning yet again, this is the time. The only head we’re ever in is Saeli’s anyway, so it won’t be as big of a switch as it could be.
The thing is, I’ve realized that the one character in the story whom I cannot seem to really connect with is Saeli. Everyone else has a self, a voice that I can feel inside. I can picture that essence and I have an instant grasp on that character; I have a snapshot of who that person is inside and where they are coming from. Everyone except my protagonist, that is. I think the only way I’m going to break into her head is to write from her head.
I actually don’t know if that will work, ultimately, for the story. There are a couple of places in my third person POV where I deliberately back off a little bit from Saeli, for artistic purposes and such. I never lose her, but sometimes I’m in her mind and sometimes I’m maybe a little further over her shoulder. I’ll lose that, but I may make up for it with more direct introspection from Saeli. I need to break her off from me. The problem is, she and I approach life in very much the same sorts of ways: we think things through, try to see it from every angle, we hesitate, we dither, we question every move we make…and we’re maybe a little bit too willing to take people at their word. She deals with Raphel the same way I would, if it was me in her shoes. (Because, you may remember, it was. Only maybe not so bad.)
She’s not really so different from me, but ultimately, she’s not me. And I, as the writer, need to grasp this difference and let Saeli be who she really is. First person would also fit better with the dark, introspective direction this story seems to be going in. I admit, I want it to be a bit more literary than the norm of what’s on the YA shelf right now.
Tags: editing and revisions, Saeli, Shades
Posted by nightphoenix on Mar 22, 2010 in
Output,
Process Let’s start with one of those hello, I’ve always been a writer at heart moments. I was making soundtracks long before I chose to focus on writing. My playlists have to tell a story or I’m not satisfied with them.
I’ve made two new playlists over the last week…really just gathering music that seems to fit a theme. One was for To Wake a Windmaker. Lots of adventure songs, music that kind of lifts you out of yourself, makes you feel like you could do anything. Interestingly, that playlist has collected three Kutless songs, whereas before I hadn’t really listened to them. I’ve also started a soundtrack for the sequel to Shades, which is tentatively called “The Angel Experiments” at this point. Not much in that one yet, because the story is still in the very early stages of planning.
Read more…
Tags: Raphel, Saeli, Shades
Posted by Mistress of Feathers on Mar 15, 2010 in
Input,
News,
Output Eli has been out of school with a cold since last Friday (which is only actually two days: Friday and today), which means that my ability to get anything done is hampered by various mommy duties. The cold is getting better, finally…it was one of those that gets into the eyes and makes them produce copious amounts of green gunk. I did a lot of nighttime eye un-gluing this weekend. I think he’ll be able to go back to school Wednesday.
Then of course, there’s the “I’m still recovering from the hard drive crash” excuse, but at this point, I think I’ve exhausted that one. I did a once-over of the first book of Shades, and did a little writing today.
Mostly, I’ve not updated because I really haven’t felt like it. Not from a lack of exciting or interesting things to report…in fact, I think it might be due to too many things to talk about. I’ve read several books since Wednesday, all of which were good enough to merit a blog-nod, at least. But…meh. I don’t feel so much like reviewing anything right now.
I’ve actually felt like sitting down and writing some erotic Shades fanfiction. (I suppose I can hope Shades will be enough of a hit someday to merit fanfiction…and it can be fun to anticipate what people are going to come up with. Dear gods, the slash will probably be awful).
One, to see if I can actually bring myself to write an erotic scene…what words I can/cannot get on the page, where evocative turns into gross/cheesy/unrealistic/just plain bad, etc. Shades does not need such scenes, and won’t contain any, but I can think of a couple of places in my Tindaari epic that might. (Celeste is a whore, by profession. Nuatha’s relationship with her is intimately *cough* tied to both his own sexual awakening and to his character arc. Some of that growth is going to take place in the bedroom…and I’m just going to have to get over it.)
Two, Saeli and Raphel’s relationship is grating on me right now. Not on a writerly level…I’ve just reread the whole manuscript so far, and I think I’ve got the level of sexual/antagonistic/partnership tension about where it needs to be. But I think it’s safe to say that I’m more emotionally attached to these characters than anyone else could possibly be. I want them to get together because I like Raphel and I’m a lot like Saeli, in some ways. Pure wish fulfillment. Something I know I can’t do in the story itself without destroying it, but something I *want*, nonetheless. (Hey, that’s what fanfiction is for, IMO. Pairing off characters just because the fans want it, not because it’s in any way hinted at in the canon.) This is actually a sign to me that I’ve Saeli’s and Raphel’s relationship right in the story, because part of the tension lies in the fact that they are, in some ways, perfect for each other…and yet, it just can’t work. I want the reader to hate that. I know this probably sounds ridiculous, but I want the reader to fall in love with Raphel and despair. It’s the major underlying problem Saeli has to overcome.
So, but okay, writer-me is satisfied, but fan-me is still grinding her teeth.
I may do it, just because. Maybe in between the actual finishing of the last chapters, in that time when I’d normally be checking Facebook or something. This is not something I’d be posting here, by the way. I know too many people that read this that I probably wouldn’t be able to face again, if I did. ;D No erotica on Nightphoenix’s blog, sorry.
I’ve decided I need to go back and read The Society of S by Susan Hubbard. I think, out of all the YA books I’ve read recently, that story’s pacing most closely resembles mine; a bit less action, bam-bam-wham, a bit more literary. (This is only compared to today’s popular YA, which tends to read very, very fast.) Since I enjoyed Society of S, despite its slower pace (or maybe because of it), I should go back and pay attention to how that was done.
Not much else to report. The spring forward thing is killing me. We didn’t eat supper tonight until like 8:30, ’cause I just couldn’t get my act together. Now it’s nearly midnight, and we have to go to bed soon. *sigh*
Tags: Raphel, Saeli, Shades, the real world
Posted by nightphoenix on Feb 24, 2010 in
Novels,
Output Sorry, all you over on Facebook, but this is going under the user-only cut. Go visit the actual blog if you’re really interested. http://nightphoenix.com
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Tags: Raphel, Saeli, Shades, Yuril
Posted by nightphoenix on Feb 18, 2010 in
Input,
Output Today I managed to write a pretty good chunk of Shades. I got Saeli started in the portal form, and brought the first of my obstacles, Geris, onto the scene. Today I almost managed to write myself into a corner, when the established rules of magic in my world prevented me from doing something the simple way. Please Login or Register to view this.
Anyway, that’s why we’ve taken a break from our regular schedule of bloggish activities. I’ve actually been, you know, productive.
And the apartment is clean! It’s great! I can actually concentrate on clearing up some areas that always get ignored because I’m too busy trying to catch up with a backload of dishes and laundry.
Tags: editing and revisions, Kaladan, Mora, Raphel, Saeli, Shades, worldbuilding
Posted by nightphoenix on Feb 4, 2010 in
Art,
Output It’s Thursday! Here’s a drawing I did a while ago of my main characters from Shades.
And, perhaps a couple of maps. It’s funny, I actually didn’t draw these until the first draft of the story was almost done, when I finally needed to know exactly where things were.
Here’s the world as a whole. You can see Aschera and Chisge in the upper center area. The village where Raphel was born is almost due west of Aschera, on the other side of the Midplains. The red area is the cursed Midplains, top-left pointing stripes represent Mantle territory, top-right pointing stripes are Cowl territory, and crosshatching is disputed territory. (You may notice that there is quite a bit of disputed territory, and that the Cowls have much less undisputed territory than the Mantles. The Mantles are winning the war when the story opens). Iadnah and Lanschport are both southern Cowl cities. Iadnah is nominally under Mantle control, while Lanschport is purely Cowl. Lanschport has a rather unsavory reputation even among Cowls, which is probably why the Mantles don’t want it (people on Verre have odd superstitions about the ocean); both Geris and Teja hail from that city. The battle of Iadnah plays an important role in all three of my major Cowls’ pasts: Mora lost her husband, infant daughter, and father; Kaladan lost his faith in the Mantle cause and turned Cowl; and I haven’t yet decided how Raphel was involved (but I have decided that he needs to be).
Here is Aschamon. A great deal of the action in the first and third books takes place on Aschamon’s campus, so I needed to know exactly where each building was in relation to the others.
It sits on a hill in the western quadrant of Aschera (Aschera I have not mapped yet. Not sure if I need to). The Temple and the main sorarc tower are the hub of the school, both physically and spiritually. The small triangular buildings are the dormitories: one for the youngest (gray) students, three for the various ages of Mantle students, and one for the cleric students. Saeli lives in a Mantle dormitory, even though she is not a Mantle; she and Cara got special permission to be roommates, and since Cara is a Mantle, the school allowed it.
Tags: drawings, Kaladan, maps, Mora, Raphel, Saeli, Shades
Posted by nightphoenix on Jan 9, 2010 in
Novels,
Output Did that get your attention? It got mine. Blame Saeli for the revelation.
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Tags: characters, editing and revisions, ideas, Mora, Raphel, Saeli, Shades
Posted by nightphoenix on Dec 6, 2009 in
Novels,
Output I had read somewhere that a writer must love her characters. Seems pretty logical, because if the author doesn’t care about the lives of the people she’s creating, why would anyone else? I got to thinking about this in conjunction with Shades. Do I love these characters? Actually, there was only one character in Shades that I couldn’t respond with an immediate “yes”.
Raphel is my favorite character, hands down. Do I love him? Oh yes. Too much. I occasionally I have to make sure I’m not lavishing too much attention on the guy. He has such a strong personality that if I let him have too much leeway, he would take the story and run. Nix that, he wouldn’t run…Raphel would dangle the storyline in front of my face, smile at me with that sexy, challenging glint in his blue eyes, and dare me to try and take it from him. Who could resist? (Apparently, not me 
). I like to think that somewhere in that dark heart of his, he harbors a soft spot for Saeli, but honestly, I’m not sure. Beefing up the world around him, Aschera, the raider culture, etc. has actually helped keep him in line. Raphel might want everyone to think he’s got everything under control, but I have a whole world of problems I can use to take him down a notch, if I have to. I’ve already given him a rival cabal to worry about (that was a godawful chapter to write, btw).
Mora is actually keeping her distance from me in this rewrite. I do love her, though, because she’s always cool, and unflappable, and quietly sardonic, if the occasion arises. She’s such a tragic character, in that Raphel had already stolen her soul before Saeli ever met her. She’s a strong woman though, with a lot of history you only get glimpses of. She represents what Saeli could have become, if Raphel had really had the chance to break her. (I think that Saeli has more inner strength than Mora, and that Raphel would have never been able to completely conquer her, but it would have been a near thing.)
I’m having a lot of fun with Kaladan this time around. He’s a complicated man, and next to Saeli, he probably has the biggest character arc of anyone. You have to love a character who can throw out one-liners like this one:
Geris licked his lips. “You can’t blame me for being careful. This is enemy territory,” he said.
“Aye, we’ve only remained undiscovered in the largest Mantle city in the region for two whole moons,” Kaladan remarked. “Clearly Raphel’s subterfuge skills leave much to be desired.”
But his history is what really makes him fun to work with. In a way, as a Mantle turned Cowl turned Gray, he has the most perspective of any of them.
Cara is great because on the surface she seems like a typical young woman, flighty, scatterbrained, and doesn’t care for much other than socializing. But on the inside, she has an unwavering spirit and deep affection and loyalty to those she cares about. She’s the type of person who would never take charge unless they were forced into it, and then they would do an amazing job. Her early optimism and carefree nature is something I regret taking away from her at the end…but everyone in this story has to lose something.
Brendan…eh, who wouldn’t love Brendan? He’s the classic boy-next-door, who is willing to suffer in silence while the girl he loves dates someone else, just so she can be happy. Until he finds out the other guy is hurting her, of course…he won’t stand for that. Unfortunately, he’s a character that only really becomes important by dying.
Geris is like Peter Pettigrew from HP: one of those cowering, whiny villains who are so pathetic that it’s incredible how much trouble they manage to stir up. I like him for that, and because he gets what’s coming to him in the end. The High Priestess, aka Linserae. Avalgo. Othau. Isharyel. Hakarin. Adna. The Keeper of the Oath. Jalil…those are all my minors that really get screen time, and I love them all, for various reasons. And there are my gods: Yuril, Scisaxar, Naeth.
I considered every single character in Shades, and interestingly enough, the only one that I’m not sure I love is…Saeli. And I was like “uh-oh…I love everyone except my PROTAGONIST? That can’t be good.” It’s not that I don’t like her, it’s just that I don’t seem to have any real perspective on the matter. She is so much of ME, in this story, that I can’t distance myself from her. Saying I love Raphel or anyone else is like saying I love my husband…I’m analyzing my own feelings for another person. Trying to decide if I love Saeli is like me trying to be someone else trying to decide if they like me. She is…transparent, to me. I have been trying to give her more backbone this time around, and a few definite quirks that are NOT like me. But for the most part, how she reacts to things is pretty much how I would react, were I in her shoes. However, I’m pretty sure she’s not a Mary Sue…she screws up too much. She doesn’t always make the best decisions (clinging to Raphel for so long being the chief of these…but interestingly, I’m pretty sure I would make the same mistake).
The rewriting is going more slowly than I would like. I worry, sometimes, that I just don’t write quickly enough to survive in this industry. Even when I have a block of five hours to work with, I still don’t get a whole chapter done. I don’t know if I could really write a book per year, even if I had huge blocks of time to work in. I guess either it’s something you learn, or you find a publisher willing to let you take two and three years to produce a work. I’m beefing up some of the sexual tension in this story, even though I still don’t think I could market this as a genre romance. But the story is about Saeli and Raphel’s relationship, so I’m trying to keep the focus there, where I can.
Tags: Brendan, Cara, characters, editing and revisions, Kaladan, Mora, Raphel, Saeli, Shades
Posted by nightphoenix on Nov 2, 2009 in
Novels,
Output The revision process continues. Please Login or Register to view this.
Anyway, I have precisely three months to get this story done and polished before the conference. (Technically, I may have a little longer, because even if I get a bite at the conference, there will still be a period of days or weeks of querying and conversing back and forth with a potential editor or agent). That’s a little scary, but I’m going to try to do it.
Tags: Brendan, Cara, editing and revisions, Raphel, Saeli, Shades
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