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All fun and games until someone gets hurt
Sorry, all you over on Facebook, but this is going under the user-only cut. Go visit the actual blog if you’re really interested. http://nightphoenix.com
Today
Today I managed to write a pretty good chunk of Shades. I got Saeli started in the portal form, and brought the first of my obstacles, Geris, onto the scene. Today I almost managed to write myself into a corner, when the established rules of magic in my world prevented me from doing something the simple way. Please Login or Register to view this.
Anyway, that’s why we’ve taken a break from our regular schedule of bloggish activities. I’ve actually been, you know, productive.
And the apartment is clean! It’s great! I can actually concentrate on clearing up some areas that always get ignored because I’m too busy trying to catch up with a backload of dishes and laundry.
Art!
Posted by nightphoenix on Feb 4, 2010 in Art, Artsy Thursdays
It’s Thursday! Here’s a drawing I did a while ago of my main characters from Shades.
And, perhaps a couple of maps. It’s funny, I actually didn’t draw these until the first draft of the story was almost done, when I finally needed to know exactly where things were.
Here’s the world as a whole. You can see Aschera and Chisge in the upper center area. The village where Raphel was born is almost due west of Aschera, on the other side of the Midplains. The red area is the cursed Midplains, top-left pointing stripes represent Mantle territory, top-right pointing stripes are Cowl territory, and crosshatching is disputed territory. (You may notice that there is quite a bit of disputed territory, and that the Cowls have much less undisputed territory than the Mantles. The Mantles are winning the war when the story opens). Iadnah and Lanschport are both southern Cowl cities. Iadnah is nominally under Mantle control, while Lanschport is purely Cowl. Lanschport has a rather unsavory reputation even among Cowls, which is probably why the Mantles don’t want it (people on Verre have odd superstitions about the ocean); both Geris and Teja hail from that city. The battle of Iadnah plays an important role in all three of my major Cowls’ pasts: Mora lost her husband, infant daughter, and father; Kaladan lost his faith in the Mantle cause and turned Cowl; and I haven’t yet decided how Raphel was involved (but I have decided that he needs to be).
Here is Aschamon. A great deal of the action in the first and third books takes place on Aschamon’s campus, so I needed to know exactly where each building was in relation to the others.
It sits on a hill in the western quadrant of Aschera (Aschera I have not mapped yet. Not sure if I need to). The Temple and the main sorarc tower are the hub of the school, both physically and spiritually. The small triangular buildings are the dormitories: one for the youngest (gray) students, three for the various ages of Mantle students, and one for the cleric students. Saeli lives in a Mantle dormitory, even though she is not a Mantle; she and Cara got special permission to be roommates, and since Cara is a Mantle, the school allowed it.
Raphel is afraid of the dark
Did that get your attention? It got mine. Blame Saeli for the revelation.
Love and Shades
I had read somewhere that a writer must love her characters. Seems pretty logical, because if the author doesn’t care about the lives of the people she’s creating, why would anyone else? I got to thinking about this in conjunction with Shades. Do I love these characters? Actually, there was only one character in Shades that I couldn’t respond with an immediate “yes”.
Raphel is my favorite character, hands down. Do I love him? Oh yes. Too much. I occasionally I have to make sure I’m not lavishing too much attention on the guy. He has such a strong personality that if I let him have too much leeway, he would take the story and run. Nix that, he wouldn’t run…Raphel would dangle the storyline in front of my face, smile at me with that sexy, challenging glint in his blue eyes, and dare me to try and take it from him. Who could resist? (Apparently, not me 
). I like to think that somewhere in that dark heart of his, he harbors a soft spot for Saeli, but honestly, I’m not sure. Beefing up the world around him, Aschera, the raider culture, etc. has actually helped keep him in line. Raphel might want everyone to think he’s got everything under control, but I have a whole world of problems I can use to take him down a notch, if I have to. I’ve already given him a rival cabal to worry about (that was a godawful chapter to write, btw).
Mora is actually keeping her distance from me in this rewrite. I do love her, though, because she’s always cool, and unflappable, and quietly sardonic, if the occasion arises. She’s such a tragic character, in that Raphel had already stolen her soul before Saeli ever met her. She’s a strong woman though, with a lot of history you only get glimpses of. She represents what Saeli could have become, if Raphel had really had the chance to break her. (I think that Saeli has more inner strength than Mora, and that Raphel would have never been able to completely conquer her, but it would have been a near thing.)
I’m having a lot of fun with Kaladan this time around. He’s a complicated man, and next to Saeli, he probably has the biggest character arc of anyone. You have to love a character who can throw out one-liners like this one:
Geris licked his lips. “You can’t blame me for being careful. This is enemy territory,” he said.
“Aye, we’ve only remained undiscovered in the largest Mantle city in the region for two whole moons,” Kaladan remarked. “Clearly Raphel’s subterfuge skills leave much to be desired.”
But his history is what really makes him fun to work with. In a way, as a Mantle turned Cowl turned Gray, he has the most perspective of any of them.
Cara is great because on the surface she seems like a typical young woman, flighty, scatterbrained, and doesn’t care for much other than socializing. But on the inside, she has an unwavering spirit and deep affection and loyalty to those she cares about. She’s the type of person who would never take charge unless they were forced into it, and then they would do an amazing job. Her early optimism and carefree nature is something I regret taking away from her at the end…but everyone in this story has to lose something.
Brendan…eh, who wouldn’t love Brendan? He’s the classic boy-next-door, who is willing to suffer in silence while the girl he loves dates someone else, just so she can be happy. Until he finds out the other guy is hurting her, of course…he won’t stand for that. Unfortunately, he’s a character that only really becomes important by dying.
Geris is like Peter Pettigrew from HP: one of those cowering, whiny villains who are so pathetic that it’s incredible how much trouble they manage to stir up. I like him for that, and because he gets what’s coming to him in the end. The High Priestess, aka Linserae. Avalgo. Othau. Isharyel. Hakarin. Adna. The Keeper of the Oath. Jalil…those are all my minors that really get screen time, and I love them all, for various reasons. And there are my gods: Yuril, Scisaxar, Naeth.
I considered every single character in Shades, and interestingly enough, the only one that I’m not sure I love is…Saeli. And I was like “uh-oh…I love everyone except my PROTAGONIST? That can’t be good.” It’s not that I don’t like her, it’s just that I don’t seem to have any real perspective on the matter. She is so much of ME, in this story, that I can’t distance myself from her. Saying I love Raphel or anyone else is like saying I love my husband…I’m analyzing my own feelings for another person. Trying to decide if I love Saeli is like me trying to be someone else trying to decide if they like me. She is…transparent, to me. I have been trying to give her more backbone this time around, and a few definite quirks that are NOT like me. But for the most part, how she reacts to things is pretty much how I would react, were I in her shoes. However, I’m pretty sure she’s not a Mary Sue…she screws up too much. She doesn’t always make the best decisions (clinging to Raphel for so long being the chief of these…but interestingly, I’m pretty sure I would make the same mistake).
The rewriting is going more slowly than I would like. I worry, sometimes, that I just don’t write quickly enough to survive in this industry. Even when I have a block of five hours to work with, I still don’t get a whole chapter done. I don’t know if I could really write a book per year, even if I had huge blocks of time to work in. I guess either it’s something you learn, or you find a publisher willing to let you take two and three years to produce a work. I’m beefing up some of the sexual tension in this story, even though I still don’t think I could market this as a genre romance. But the story is about Saeli and Raphel’s relationship, so I’m trying to keep the focus there, where I can.
Reinvisioning parts of Shades
The revision process continues. Please Login or Register to view this.
Anyway, I have precisely three months to get this story done and polished before the conference. (Technically, I may have a little longer, because even if I get a bite at the conference, there will still be a period of days or weeks of querying and conversing back and forth with a potential editor or agent). That’s a little scary, but I’m going to try to do it.
My voice, and a Shades update
Well, I woke up this morning with no voice. I’ve had a cold since last Thursday or so, though luckily it hasn’t been a really bad one. Lots of throat soreness, which is a change from the I-can’t-breathe stuffiness I usually get. I think I actually prefer the sore throat…not being able to breathe is scary, especially at night when you start having dreams about it. Plus, I’m not using boxes and boxes of tissue. (No, it’s just all dripping down the back of my throat instead )
It’s amazingly difficult to handle a three year old child without a voice. I could whisper this morning, but Eli thought that was some kind of game, and refused to listen to me. *facepalm* My voice has come back gradually throughout the day, but my throat is still very sore.
But such is death.
I believe I’ve found the song I will be writing Saeli’s death scene with.
Okay, before anyone panics, no, I am not killing off my heroine. She’s not actually going to die…kind of like Harry Potter. In Saeli’s case, Sioned knocks her out of her body, but the Keeper catches her before her soul escapes. She’ll go to a sort of in-between place for a little bit, reveal what really just happened between her and Raphel, and then she’ll have to choose whether to go back or go on.
Actually, because of her choice, the Keeper will die…but that’s a good thing. Angels only die when they accomplish their Purpose.
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“i have nothing left to give
i have found the perfect end
you were made to make it hurt
disappear into the dirt
carry me to heaven’s arms
light the way and let me go
take the time to take my breath
i will end where i began
and i will find the enemy within
because i can feel it crawl beneath my skin
dear agony
just let go of me
suffer slowly
is this the way it’s got to be?
dear agony
suddenly
the lights go out
let forever
drag me down
i will fight for one last breath
i will fight until the end
and i will find the enemy within
because i can feel it crawl beneath my skin
dear agony
just let go of me
suffer slowly
is this the way it’s got to be?
don’t bury me
faceless enemy
i’m so sorry
is this the way it’s gotta be?
dear agony
leave me alone
god let me go
i’m blue and cold
black sky will burn
love pull me down
hate lift me up
just turn around
there’s nothing left
somewhere far beyond this world
i feel nothing anymore
dear agony
Just let go of me
suffer slowly
is this the way it’s got to be?
don’t bury me
faceless enemy
i’m so sorry
is this the way it’s gotta be?
dear agony
i feel nothing anymore”
Shades update
I think I could get the first draft done this week if I really, really worked on it. Literally, if I wrote for 2 hours every day…and more importantly, didn’t spend that time going back through what I’ve already written…I could get there. As always, however, whether that will actually happen shall be dictated by circumstance and the cooperation of a certain three year old.
Then the cutting process will begin. I know of two whole scenes I can nix without even thinking about it, and numerous other bits and pieces. I’m sure I’ll find more once I actually re-read, especially in the first section. The angelic subplot can get cut…I started it on Dheu and then never had the space to take it anywhere. It just kind of fizzles out. The Keeper subplot can probably be streamlined, since it took me three quarters of the story to finally figure out where I was going with it. Let’s see, what else. A lot of Saeli’s interaction with Cara and Brendan at the beginning can be steamlined, if not cut altogether. Naeth isn’t as big a player as I thought he was going to be, so he probably actually has enough screen time…I just need to focus it a little better. I think, like Brendan, he doesn’t actually have to BE on screen to be vitally important.
Interestingly, the process of closing this story is providing more and more material for a sequel. Please Login or Register to view this.
Wow, I just totally went on a sequel tangent. *sigh* I have a lot of work to do before January, and the next two months are going to be ridiculous. I’ve agreed to design the conference booklet for the SCWG this year…which is, btw, really cool, and I’m flattered that I was asked. That has to be done by mid-September. I have to polish off the first draft of Shades so I can start editing it. I want to enter a short story in the SCWG writing contest for the conference…which means I have to write, edit, and polish a 2000 word story by Oct. 15th. (Short stories are not my forte. I have a hard time thinking small enough). I need to finish editing my short story for the Writer’s Digest contest before Nov. 2nd. We have friends coming to visit the weekend of Oct. 17th, and my Hanson concert is the 24th. That’s two weekends shot. Oh, yeah, and my birthday is in there somewhere. (Did I mention I have to have Shades done…DONE, as in: cut, edited, copyedited, polished…by January, if I want to have a complete manuscript at the conference??)
I’m sure I’m even forgetting something in this list.
Which reminds me…it’s bedtime, and I have laundry to do tomorrow.