Llama: “Who wants a leafy llama?”

Man in the Yellow Hat: “Has anyone seen a monkey carrying a vacuum cleaner?”
Passerby: “Was he wearing a cape?”
Man in the Yellow Hat: “I…don’t know…could there be more than one monkey with a vacuum in the city?”

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MANFRED: You…check for poop.

SID: Why am I the poop-checker?

MANFRED: Because returning the runt was your idea, because you’re small and insignificant, and because I’ll pummel you if you don’t.

[pause]

SID: Why else?

MANFRED: Now, Sid!

 
Now imagine how that would play out if you replaced the character of Manfred with God, Sid with a typical person, and changed some of the wording.

GOD: You…repent.

PERSON: Why do I have to be the one who repents?

GOD: Because eating the fruit in the garden was your idea, because you’re small and insignificant, and because I’ll pummel you if you don’t.

[pause]

PERSON: Why else?

GOD: Now, Sinner!

Not quite as funny, at least to me, because I’ve actually heard some of the above arguments used, on occasion. Persuasion by intimidation may yield warm bodies, but it doesn’t yield followers. There, I’m putting my soapbox away.

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ZUKO: “How am I supposed to convince these people that I’m on their side? What would uncle do?”

*imatating Iroh* “Zuko, you have to look within yourself to save yourself from your other self. Only then will your true self reveal itself.”

*drops his arms in defeat* “Ugh, even when I’m talking for him I can’t figure out what he means.”

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JACK SPARROW: “But you have heard of me.”

 
Jack Sparrow is one of those characters that makes me want to be a writer.

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