Llama: “Who wants a leafy llama?”

Man in the Yellow Hat: “Has anyone seen a monkey carrying a vacuum cleaner?”
Passerby: “Was he wearing a cape?”
Man in the Yellow Hat: “I…don’t know…could there be more than one monkey with a vacuum in the city?”

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Here’s the link, if it doesn’t show up.

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ZUKO: “How am I supposed to convince these people that I’m on their side? What would uncle do?”

*imatating Iroh* “Zuko, you have to look within yourself to save yourself from your other self. Only then will your true self reveal itself.”

*drops his arms in defeat* “Ugh, even when I’m talking for him I can’t figure out what he means.”

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When you compare statements like “God Hates Fags” and “Where’s Waldo?”, yeah, there really isn’t much meaning to either, and I think that was the point. It’s really an ingenious protest, IMO.

Here’s the article itself.

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Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit, my best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low-stress, non-addictive, gender-neutral celebration of the winter solstice holiday, practiced within the most enjoyable traditions of the religious persuasion of your choice, or secular practices of your choice, with respect for the religious/secular persuasion and/or traditions of others, or their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all. I also wish you a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling and medically uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally accepted calendar year 2010, but not without due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures whose contributions to society have helped make America great. Not to imply that America is necessarily greater than any other country nor the only America in the Western Hemisphere . Also, this wish is made without regard to the race, creed, color, age, physical ability, religious faith or sexual preference of the wish.

To My Conservative Friends:
Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.”

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“Fiction is about telling lies. Big,fat, hairy, prevaricating lies. If you want to write about the truth, or approximately the truth, or even something remotely approaching the truth, then the career you’re looking for is called “Journalism.” It’s a fine career choice, but it isn’t fiction.”

To amend that, however, I wouldn’t say that fiction is entirely untrue. It’s just more about emotional and thematic truth than factual, this-really-happened-in-real-life truth. There has to be something real there, or nobody will read it. People don’t read complete BS; if they do, it’s either because they don’t realize it’s BS, or because they want to laugh about it with their friends.

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“You are driving in a suburban neighborhood and see a lampshade sitting on the side of the road. Curious, you stop your car and investigate. Underneath the lampshade is a (very) dead squirrel. Now make up a story about how the dead squirrel ended up under that lampshade on the side of the road.”

The hubby and I really did see a lampshade on the side of the road on Viera Blvd, though we didn’t check for squirrels underneath.

“You are in Walmart at 10PM. The person in front of you in the checkout lane is an older gentleman, a bit on the scruffy side, and his only purchase is a single jar of olives. What is his story, and what is he going to do with those olives?”

This actually happened to me. Perfectly nice guy…olives just seemed like an odd thing to get all by itself.

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