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Revisit, re-assess
I just looked at the date of the last post I made here, and I’m fairly embarrassed. I’d love to say I’ve been wonderfully busy and productive and just haven’t had the time to update… Read more…
Like!Introducing a question to which I don’t have an answer
I am about to rewrite the knife battle between Avalgo and Othau, which is, in a sense, the climactic moment of my characters’ stay on Dheu.
The original fight was in my first draft of the whole trilogy (back before it was a trilogy), and it was one of those awesome, completely unplanned moments. The way the events had been progressing, I always assumed Raphel was going to be the one to take down Othau. He certainly wanted to. So I had this Raphel vs. Othau moment in my head literally right up until the moment Othau and Avalgo pulled knives on each other, and Raphel was occupied elsewhere. And I said, “Um, okay, apparently these two aren’t going anywhere until they have it out”. And it’s sort of appropriate that the fight should be between the two characters who are actually from Dheu…it highlights the fact that my four main characters are interlopers on a conflict that’s much bigger and much older than they are.
The theme of the fight is essentially the age-old question: Can an end justify the means taken to achieve it? If you have to become a monster to save the world, is it worth it?
And this is a theme that forms the backbone of the entire trilogy. Raphel’s goal is to save Verre from a war that is destroying both the Mantles and the Cowls…but he has to kill two gods in order to do it. Obviously he thinks it’s worth it. Of course, he’s got a major lifelong grudge against one of these gods, and the other god is actively trying to wipe out his people…so he’s not exactly the most unbiased judge of such things. Same with Mora and Kaladan. Only Saeli really has a shot at truly deciding whether the end is worth the cost. Right now, she’s on Raphel’s side…but the more time she spends around Naeth, the more she’s going to realize exactly what it would mean to kill a god.
Will she save her world? Or will she save her soul? Of course, her stake in this is all tangled up in her relationship with Raphel, and the choices he makes. Her tragedy is that she will be forced to destroy Raphel while believing in her heart that he wasn’t completely wrong. Ultimately she chooses principle over saving the world, but her circumstances will allow her to do the latter by sticking to the former. Lucky Saeli. Why am I playing it like this? Why am I giving Saeli an out?
Because I don’t know the answer to the question.
Othau believes that securing a future generation of Dheuans is worth the cost of derailing two girls’ lives. Avalgo disagrees, arguing that what good does it do to become monsters in order to survive? Each of them has a point, and I honestly do not know what I would choose, were I put in that position. On one hand, kidnapping, rape, and forced childbirth are monstrous things to inflict on anyone. On the other hand, not acting to save an entire world when you *could*, is also monstrous. It’s an unsettling place for me, not being able to decide within my own mind what a character “ought” to do. All I have to work with is what I know the character would do.
It means I can’t really resolve this fight between Othau and Avalgo. It means that Saeli can’t fully resolve it, even after Raphel betrays her so badly that she MUST stand against him. It means I have to kill off my main villain without knowing, for certain, that he deserved it.
But ultimately, I think maybe it’s a question that needs to be left up to the reader to decide. Each character will choose where they stand, and the reader gets to decide if they made the right decision or not.
Characters with magic are so difficult to put in peril
Seriously.
Here’s the situation. Saeli, Raphel, Mora, and Kaladan are on a world that is, due to a series of unfortunate events involving three jealous goddesses, one naive god, and a very angry angelic…well, doomed. Said goddesses created an extremely infectious disease that eventually rendered every single female on the planet unable to bear children. The last generation has reached their mid-50s or so, and they’ve essentially lost hope.
Enter Saeli and Mora, two young women of childbearing age who, due to their not being born on Dheu, are immune to this disease. You can see how this might interest certain parties. The two women get kidnapped, and are currently trapped in a cave surrounded by twenty or so men who are so desperate to not be the last generation that they’re willing to rape female strangers and force them to live out their lives on Dheu bearing children.
Saeli and Mora are both trained in the art of using their qi to do all sorts of extraordinary things, like fire and ice and wind and teleportation spells. None of the men who have captured them have any such power. (Although half of them are what they call “spirit walkers”. They can essentially thrust their spirits out of their bodies and travel about the “spirit realm”, where they receive guidance from the angelics who live there. This is, of course, of no practical use whatsoever against someone who can lob a fireball at them).
The first obvious question: how did a couple of magically inclined characters get captured by a bunch of non-magically inclined characters in the first place? Read more…
Goals
Recently I’ve been trying to come up with a way to organize which projects I work on, and how much time I spend working. The problem with me, I’ve found, is that when I try to concentrate solely on one project at a time, I inevitably work myself into a bind that I can’t get out of. Not wanting to “break my focus”, however, I don’t allow myself to work on anything else…and thus, nothing gets worked on. Plainly this is, ah, not a good system for me. The other problem I have is allowing myself to get completely derailed, spending a month or two enthusiastically pouring energy into Amphitere’s Vision or one of my minor story ideas when I really, really wanted to be working on Shades. Also, there are days when I get bitten by the art bug, and need to work on something visual. So…what seems to work best for me is having a variety of projects to work on at a time, but only certain ones.
I’ve come up with the idea of organizing every project, including the artistic ones unconnected with my writing and my wands, into what I’ll call “cycles”. Every cycle includes at least one series novel (like Shades or Briar Rose), one stand-alone novel, various shorter writing projects, bits of Amphitere’s Vision, and art projects. It gives me options, but confines those options enough so that I actually make progress on things.
What’s also helped is finally sitting down and deciding exactly what still needs to be done for Amphiptere’s Vision, which was kind of a huge, sprawling mess. The project folder is a jumbled mess of Excel spreadsheets, Notepad notes, and drawings of characters, dragons, and maps in various stages of completion. I asked myself: “If I was going to hand a folder to, oh say a game producer, what all would I need to include so that they would understand the vision of the game? What might they want to see?” and made a list. So now I have, like, actual goals to work towards.
Each “cycle” is supposed to take 1-2 years to complete, though I think that will vary. The way I broke things down, I already have 12 cycles planned. *cough* Yeah, I have a lot of projects. Although the last two or three are just Tindaari (I know I’ll be filling those up). I ran some numbers, and calculated that if I wrote 400 words a day, I could write a 96,000 word novel in a year’s time. Double that to 800 words a day, and I could write two novels in a year’s time. That’s not bad. 400 words doesn’t sound like a whole lot, but I’ve been surprised how often it’s difficult to manage even that much in a day. (Ever try writing with Inspector Gadget, Rugrats, or Pixar playing in the background? Meh.) That will get better after school starts, I think, and I have some hours to myself.
One of my biggest problems in productivity is guilt. Much of the time I feel like I’m not making enough progress. Of if I am making progress, I feel like it’s coming at the expense of doing the laundry, or making sure my son isn’t just sitting around all day watching TV. I know guilt motivates some people, but it paralyzes me. I get even more disinclined to work, and thus feel more guilt, and so on. The 400 words a day is really helping with that, because it’s such an easy goal to meet and yet I know it will still get me somewhere. And when I write more I can pat myself on the back even more. 
So that’s where I am, and why I haven’t been updating much.
The week that didn’t exist
It’s been a while. And actually, I haven’t been writing for a few weeks either. Most of you who know me in RL already know, but for those who don’t…
Back on Memorial Day, we had to take our five-year-old son to the emergency room. He’d been tired for a couple of days, and then his mouth got really dry. When we took him in, he was so weak and tottery that he could barely walk himself to the bathroom. They tested him in the ER and determined that he had Type 1 diabetes and was suffering from diabetic ketoacidosis, and immediately admitted him. Ketoacidosis is what happens when your body cannot use the sugar in your blood for fuel, and starts breaking down its own tissues instead. Read more…
Epics
I just finished the Winds of the Forelands series by David B. Coe, and as fantasy epics go, it was pretty good. It’s rare that I pick up a series at random and have it be unique enough to hold my interest. Although it had many of the classic tropes of epics, they were combined and re-imagined in such ways that I couldn’t sit there and say “Ah, so it’s this kind of magic system”, etc. Read more…
If I don’t want God’s job, why do I write fiction?
Posted by nightphoenix on May 11, 2011 in Process
Writers often speak of “playing God” with their characters. Because of course, the writer must have a better grasp on that character’s strengths, flaws, past, motivations, fears, hopes, goals, etc, than anyone else in the story world, even the character himself. You can’t write a convincing person if you don’t know who they are. But an interesting side effect of this knowing is that sometimes a character will do something the writer didn’t expect. Something that flows out of who that character is that maybe the writer didn’t notice the first time around. But you, the writer, kinda have to go with that, because forcing characters to follow an author’s agenda inevitably drains the life right out of them. Paradoxically, you have to know your characters so well that they quite literally start taking on a life of their own.
But fiction, like life, has conflict and pain and sorrow and people that fall. In fact, one of the first things one learns as a writer is that fiction NEEDS conflict, or it becomes boring and lifeless. True conflict, the kind that grows and breathes and expands in directions you don’t always expect and changes characters you care about…this is hard to write. It is hard to ALLOW this kind of conflict in a story, because it means surrendering some of your godly writerly power to do whatever you wish with your characters. It means sparing characters you’d rather destroy, and destroying characters you really, really wish you could save. True, you could still have the villain have a last-minute change of heart…you are the author, and it’s your story. But you know, and your audience will certainly know that the change wasn’t real, didn’t flow out of who that character was. Such authorial fiat…even when done for the benefit of the character…it invalidates the character as a person. Their choices no longer matter. And they cease to be real.
And the story fails. Read more…
Building a balanced magic system
This week, being spring break, I knew I wasn’t going to get much done in the way of actual writing. So, instead I’ve spent a little time concentrating on Amphiptere’s Vision, the MMORPG the hubby and I’ve been working on. It was inspired partially by World of Warcraft and by a turn-based, cartoonish RPG called Dofus, plus a heavy dose of experience from playing Achaea, a text-based MUD. The game I imagine is what’s called “sandbox” style: heavily role-playing dependent, where players can directly affect the world. Players build the houses, towns, roads, and cities; players create and run the organizations; players generate the big conflicts in the game. There are 61 discrete sentient races, 21 of which are playable. The abilities are many and varied, and a lot of the skillsets require creativity and imagination to use. Read more…
Apple-spice candy
Posted by nightphoenix on Mar 21, 2011 in Process
Actually, this post is about dreams. Specifically, the small and sometimes nonsensical details that dreams create.
Many of my story ideas come from dreams. Usually two or three dreams that have been fleshed out, expanded upon, and changed where needed to make a coherent plot. Most often, the main element a dream will leave me with is a mood. How does this story feel? What emotions does it evoke? The more detailed dreams will provide me with several characters and maybe even some plot elements, but that mood is what I take the most time in analyzing and writing down.
But often, my dreams aren’t coherent enough, detailed enough, or removed enough from life to really use. What I call “story dreams” actually happen only once or twice a month, if that. Dreams where I wake up and say, “Man, that would make a great story!” and I rush to write it down. Such were the beginnings of Dragon Singer, Briar Rose, Dreamcatcher, Mask of Eldarmarch…the list goes on. Honestly, if they happened any more frequently, either I’d need to be a much faster writer, or my queue would be much, much longer (than it already is).
However, even the fuzzy, wacky dreams can yield ideas in the form of details. Details of life, of people, of feeling; stuff that sort of passes you by when you’re awake. Sometimes things like that are easier to notice in dreams because they occur bigger than normal, stranger than normal, or simply out of context.
For example, I’ve been having a lot of dreams lately relating to the nuclear problems they are having in Japan right now. Radioactive stuff and refugee type themes. Radiation frightens me. You can’t see it, hear it, smell it, or feel it, and you don’t sense anything off if it’s hitting you. Plus, nothing but distance can shield you it. And it kills in a rather painful, horrible way. That’s up there with velociraptors and tiny dark spaces on Nightphoenix’s DoNotWant list.
The latest in this dream series involved me taking care of a bunch of hairless rabbits who’d been exposed, and then trying and failing to stop some overlord from taking over a small imaginary country. (Yes, even in the dream, it was imaginary. And yet, its loss was terrible. Hard to explain.) I was traveling with the refugees, and this monarch of a neighboring friendly nation was giving the refugee children little bags full of tiny toys and candy. Specifically, red apple-spice candy. There was a moment where I was watching the line of sad refugees shuffle along past me, and all around was this miasma of sweet spicy apple-y scent on the air. For some reason, it was that smell and everything it represented that really made it sad for me. That’s what really stayed with me when I woke up.
That’s what good details do. They call attention to what’s really important in a scene in a subtle, in-world way. They meld all those abstract, powerful emotions into an object, a texture, a moment, something tangible the audience can take away with them. “That was a great love story” isn’t nearly as powerful as “I bawled my eyes out when he handed her that ring”. They might not remember anything else about the story, but they’ll remember the ring and the feelings associated with it. Think about the Phantom of the Opera’s rose with a black ribbon, or Joker’s joker playing card. Significant details often become symbols, reoccurring themes that crop up again and again in a story. (And any details mentioned when describing a room, or object, or person, ought to be significant: ie, if the protagonist always wears a blue headband, that should play some later role in the story…if only to identify or mark her).
So, today, I am reminded to mine my dreams for details missed in the waking world. Like hairless rabbits. And apple-spice candy.
Kayfabe
Well, I finished the line edit a week or so ago, and have been (mostly) diligently working on copyediting. And realizing that there’s often a wide gulf between what I think I wrote and what the sentence actually says. And that I tend to read what I think I wrote. Blarg.
I’m also working on a synopsis, which is more blarg…but not as bad as it could be, since I had the foresight to sum up all the important events of Hands on index cards in preparation for editing. I think I’ll have everything ready for the conference.
Speaking of: Hey, the Space Coast Writers Guild conference is coming up! Jan. 28th and 29th (which is a Friday and a Saturday). It’s a great conference, and not too pricey, as far as writing conferences go. Click here for details and a registration form. You can also walk in and register the day of.
I did the conference booklet again this year (yeah…last weekend’s mad project), and I hope it looks as good printed as it does on a computer screen. The registration booklet I did was a little graphics-busy, IMO.
So…one might ask why I’m blogging when I probably should be copyediting or synopsising or somesuch. Well, I’m feeling a bit burnt out and I figured writing something is at least more productive than reading pages upon pages of Slacktivist comments. Not that those aren’t interesting, and un-productive…anyway. Read more…
Me, Briefly
Mariah Dennison, fantasy writer and artist. I have finished the first book in a trilogy, and am currently working on the second.
Find me!
