Twilight: New Moon
Well, the hubby and I finally went to see New Moon…only about two weeks past the hype. First of all, whoever they have directing these movies definitely knows how to capture the general mood of the books, which I appreciate. Even with movies like Narnia and LOTR, there was an initial period where I had to adjust my memories of the book to fit what I was seeing on the screen. When I watched Twilight, and again when I watched New Moon, the world and the mood left me in no doubt I was in the wet, dreary, mysterious Twilight version of Forks, WA.
I chuckled for most of the movie, honestly. Partially because there were a lot of roll-your-eyes cheese moments, but also because of the people watching the movie. Seriously, when Jacob’s character pulled off his shirt for the first time, there was a collective “Oooh…” from half the female audience in the theater. It was hilarious. Teenagers. Oi.
Bella and Charlie had a few deadpan moments that were absolutely great, and there were a few other snarky moments I enjoyed. They nailed Jacob and the wolves, and not just because of the abundance of pectoral muscles (though, I must admit, those were pretty impressive). Overall, the movie stayed pretty true to the book; they might have left a few things out, but they didn’t add much and they really didn’t change anything major (that I noticed).
Okay, on to the things I didn’t like. Two words: Robert Pattinson. Maybe he’s the only one they found who could even remotely pull off Edward Cullen, but gods, he’s just not carrying that character at all. First problem: visually, he’s not all that attractive to me. He’s thin, kind of hairy, and he has that really square jaw that I’ve just never liked on guys. Not Edward Cullen beautiful at all. I may be biased, but if I’m not even remotely attracted to the guy, I have a hard time empathizing with Bella’s obsession with him. Really, there were points during the movie where I was thinking, “Dude, Bella, why are you pining over the freaky skinny guy who left you when you’ve got a very hot Indian right there who worships the ground you walk on??”
You know, on a similar note, I don’t think the actress playing Rosalie is nearly drop-dead gorgeous enough for the role, either. Maybe I just have a peculiar taste in people.
Edward Cullen has a sort of magnetic charisma in the books that Pattinson isn’t pulling off onscreen, IMO. His attempts to seem mysterious or sexy come off as either cheesy, dorky, or just plain pathetic. (I’m thinking the Shakespeare reciting scene here, for those who’ve seen the movie). You know, where they slow down his walk and try to make his entrances look all “whoa, hot guy coming through”…trust me, I wasn’t sighing; I was cringing. He’s not carrying the part, and every attempt to make him seem sexier than he is just falls flat. I’m almost embarrassed for the guy, but then all the girls are staring at him like he’s the most delectable thing they’ve ever seen. The contrast is so bad it completely breaks me out of the story. In fact, I think I cringed every time Pattinson came onscreen and opened his mouth.
Jacob…I could understand being attracted to him, although he’s a little buff for my personal taste, and his teeth were unnaturally white. Oh, and trust me, nobody in the theater moaned with delirium when Edward took his shirt off. It was a whole lot more like, “Eh…someone cover him up, now, please?”
Unfortunately for me, Cullen is the crux of the story, and the whole movie suffers when I can’t stand the hero.
Okay, what else. Bella’s nightmares were absurd. They didn’t look like nightmares at all, really; it looked more like someone was using the Cruciatus Curse on her. Really, screaming in pain just because your boyfriend ran off? That’s a little bit too over the top, even for teenaged angst.
Also, I wished they’d made the vampire eyes a little more subtle. I think it was worse, this movie. The Cullens’ yellow ones weren’t so bad (except Alice’s, sometimes), but the Volturi were just like, how do they move around in normal human society at all? It wasn’t the red irises, really; it was the way they kind of seemed to pop out of the sockets, like all vampires are slightly bug-eyed or something. And there was none of the shading to indicate thirst level. On an amusing note, the hubby did not recognize Dakota Fanning as Jane. I wonder if I would have, had I not known in advance to expect her in that role?
Overall, not a bad movie. Any plot fails or character flaws are probably the result of the source material, not the moviemakers. Except for Pattinson. Epic fail on getting Edward Cullen right.
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